A truly regal experience.

I'd like to sum up my experience in viewing Walter Salles "Dark Water" at the new Regal Cinema complex here in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho into one word. "Fuckers".

We were sitting in the Cricket's Oyster Bar making up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. We had already drank a few beers plus, so we decided to go viddy a real horror show. We had all watched Frank T.J. Mackey try to strangle on old hot dog out of Eddie Murphy's throat while he Nutty Professored his way into an Oprah costume, and after such shameless public debauchery, we had no choice but to not see "War of the Worlds". As Jennifer Connelly is such a good (boobies) actress...we thought we would go and screen "Dark Water" instead. Of the four of us that went I was the only real student, but we schemed us all student tickets, still a steep $7 (half the price of the DVD when it comes out, and since it wasn't a 70mm print of Lawrence of Arabia...well regardless we went anyway).

Everything was fine and good. Not as much wet T-shirt as was to be expected, but with John C. Reily and Tim Roth just being there, it was more or less enjoyable. I really liked the dripping water everywhere, and was reminded of the Chinese water torture I used to perform on my youngest brother (which might, but probably won't entirely explain his insanity). The movie was good at building suspense, and making us question is Jennifer Connelly's character insane or is she really seeing these Shining-esque (two Kubrick references in one review...I'm almost shamed) halucinations? The movie is all a setup though, for a very intense and scary climax. A climax thwarted by a power outage in our lovely, Regal in fact, theater. At that point the entire High School "that is gay" club voiced up their unworthy for my ears opinions and destroyed all the suspense the movie had been trying to create for an hour and a half. Once they got the thing back going again, they forgot to turn the audio on, which is entirely comical because we see Connelly screaming but do not (pause) hear her. Ok...confused about the plot and what just happened, the entire audience walks out of the theater livid.

The very lovely (bitch) manager walks out, tells us to calm down, and that she will give us free gift certificates to come back and waste our time at this shit hole once more. "Oh Thank You my wise and humble god" I should have replied. After trying to get my money back instead of a little red ticket, I gave up, as the line was too long to wait for my money, and tried to lift a couple of the ticket stubs that the others had traded for their free tickets, so I could have a few more free tickets. The pimply 20 something that worked behind the counter, must of seen my almost un-seeable cat like movement, and said "only two right," frowning, "yes," I replied and walked out into the all too convenient rain, with 2 hours wasted, and two free tickets to go see the Rain Man tell Sigmund Freud that he doesn't know anything about the history of psychiatry, and that he does. Fuckers.