April 12th, 1912

“They called it the ship of dreams, and it was, it really was,” spattered some old hag at a rather confused looking Bill Paxton. “Uh, game-over man?” he replied.

Thank god the Titanic crashed. I’m so happy all those people died helplessly, else there never would have been a dramatic adaptation made from the events to film. No Leonardo DiCaprio screaming he’s the king of the world from the bow of a CGI ship. No nude Kate Winslet, stuck graciously into a PG-13 film for all of us pubescent boys to gawk at. Thanks for making all those people freeze to death so we could sit in a warm theater and enjoy ourselves, many of us three or one-hundred times.

Thank god those Palestinian terrorists kidnapped Israeli athletes and murdered them, and thank god that Israel created an assassination squad to find those responsible and murder them, because Eric Bana, Geoffrey Rush, and Daniel Craig totally rocked in the movie version of these actual events. It was seriously awesome.

Now Oliver Stone is making a movie about 9/11, and Paul Greengrass is making a movie about the events of Flight 93. I’m so glad. In all honesty, I thought Hotel Rwanda was great, The Constant Gardner intriguing, I mean, there have been so many movies based on atrocious “actual events” that to list all of them would take me weeks.

However, the films themselves have purpose, they are intended to teach us about the past in hopes to influence our future decisions, creating awareness about the... oops I would love to finish but I have to go eat dinner and do some online shopping.