Please stop!

Please stop committing crimes against my friend.

I'm passing this message along for a good friend of mine. Every single day, whether you are watching the news, listening to talk radio, or reading the newspaper, you will notice that he is the victim of a new crime against him. He wanted me to post this statement for him... too the untrained ear it sounds like "eooeoooeooyyyeoeoiii oeeiii oeoiiiii ieooeoieiei." Luckily, I understand his widely misunderstood language, and am providing the translation here.

The following transcript was taken and translated on January 7th, 2007.

Leave me alone... how is it even possible that I am the victim of crimes? Hell, even Sadaam Hussein got a piece of me, and he's thousands of miles away! I've been 90 feet below the surface for the last year... and trust me it sucks! Still they find me! Leave me alone! Please, please, just leave me the fuck alone.

Sincerely,

Hugh