Respect the cock!

I have this great image (above) to explain why I have yet to see War of the Worlds, however, one of my "colleagues" pointed out that he has, and let me post his review on Naked Brain News instead. It needs to be said that Roy Albert Steves is a special boy, with very special thoughts. Although many times he says things that I don't agree with, listening to him is not unlike watching retarded children play catch or eat cake, you just can't help but to watch...or in this case, read. Roy is also unaware that none of this site's readers are "FUCKING CRETINS!" or "cultureless automatons".

Beware and read at your own risk.

With his characteristic flair, Stephen Spielberg has done what no one else has done before! Except that older movie. And that radio play. And that book thing before that. On the up side the following were thankfully absent from the film:
1. Capital Buildings being destroyed.
2. A crack team of oil riggers.
3. A montage.
4. A shot of five or six famous world cities in a row when the aliens show up.
5. Will Smith

And the following were depicted beautifully (like in a dream, or something from Kill Bill):
1. A river of bodies.
2. Empty clothes falling like snowflakes as people are vaporized.
3. A soft red mist falling to the earth as giant alien machines juice folks.
4. Oh, and the machine putting a tap in a guy for the above shot.

Cinematography was decent. Acting wasn't half bad. Special effects that didn't disappoint. Basically, it has the same plot gaps as the radio play, and you find yourself rooting for Tom Cruise's character to ditch his kids and make a run for it. It depicted an alien invasion in exclusively first person. It's the first film I've seen that did that well, and it was done with Spielbergian style. But no matter how much Morgan Freeman is doing the narration, the modern audience is going to be let down by the ending (or, unfortunately more likely, totally and furiously confused, like rabies-infected chimpanzees in a maternity ward). And if you're planning on watching the film, but have never read or heard at /least/ the radio play (and don't know who H.G. Wells or Orson Welles are), I have something very important to tell you.

FUCKING GERMS KILL ALL OF THE ALIENS, YOU FUCKING CRETINS! I'm sorry, did I spoil the ending. I hope so, you cultureless automatons. Now get back to your World of Warcraft game before you remember that you own books.

In closing, the movie was like veal or foie gras. It was pretty good, if you ignore what literature had to suffer and die to provide it to you in such an easily digested form. And it's got Spielberg written all over it, which some people don't mind so much. He's like MSG, makes things taste good, but too much can't be good for you.