FTSPBR

I had a revelation yesterday. You see, a friend of mine wanted to go to "Blue Monday" at the local bar. So, naturally, I went. Thing is though, I didn't want to spend much money, but wanted to be adequately boozed at the same time. I smell a quandary. So we went to the grocery store, and I purchased a 12 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon for 6 dollars. That's 50 cents a beer. Pretty cheap, eh? I thought so as well. I drank 5 beers before we left to the bar. At the bar a Pabst costs 1 dollar, plus at least a 50 cent tip, that's $1.50 for a beer. You guys with me on the math here? That means for every beer I drank at home, I practically made 1 dollar. I'm quitting school, I found a new job! So tonight, I'm going to buy the 24 pack for 10 dollars. That's 40 cents per beer, which means I'll be making at least $1.60 for each one I drink. If I drink all 24 beers in one day that equals $38.40, subtract the initial investment of 10 dollars for the 12 pack, and that's $28.40. I can almost live off of that! Figure 10 dollars a day for rent, that leaves me $18.40 for food... and if I ever need more money, all I have to do is drink another beer. This is fucking brilliant.

I know this site has limited readership, and it's probably best to keep it that way, especially after this article. I'm worried if too many people start doing this "they" will make this impossible somehow. Really though, you guys are friends, right? So it's kind of my duty to tell you about this. This is seriously the best thing since cold fusion. So, Fuck That Shit, Pabst Blue Ribbon!