French People Wishing They Had Guns.
Not sure if you guys have been noticing, but people are going a little nutzo in gay Paris (pronounced “Paree” when preceded by the word "gay") right now. This exclusive Naked Brain News photo shown above was taken just yesterday.
Rioting in the streets, sparked by the deaths of two French, non-white, teenagers, who were reportedly running from le police, ran into a power plant and got the Halle Berry shocked out of them ala “Do you know what happens to toads when they get struck by lightning?” And I don’t mean they committed suicide after hearing such a bad one-liner either. There are these slums outside France called the Clichy-sous-Bois, inhabited entirely by immigrants and their descendants. Les Arabs and les Blacks got all le pissed off about it, because they felt it was les polices fault these teens got electrocuted, plus the fact that they live in poverty and aren’t treated equally politically or economically, and started to le fuck shit up (I’d say pardon my French here, but that would probably be too obvious). The rioting has lasted almost two weeks now, and the French are all like “Sacré bleu, les Arabs and les Blacks are le tearing our shit up and stuff.”
I consider my self on an expert on French culture, having seen Amelie, and believed that all French people work in quaint cafés surrounded by quirky yet likeable characters. At first I was afraid that this wasn’t the case, but I was relieved to find out that in France, the most liberal of nations, only les Blacks and les Arabs don’t work in des deux Moulins (that’s the two windmills for those of you who don’t parle Francais).
Le unfortunately for them, they don’t have the convenience of a trusty shotgun, or why not an entire armory of assault rifles, tear gas, what have you, to protect themselves and their property like we do ala crawdad Creole New Orleans style. In New Orleans the good and sin free white people all had AK47s and could just shoot the evil sinning Black people (who were being treated like Rwandans), have another glass of blood, eat some bones, and chill on the righteous shoulder of Jesus while waiting to someday dye of lung cancer. I don’t care what a left-wing liberal gun-hater you are, when the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina thing was happening you were praying that the hand of god would reach down and hand you a 12 gage, and trust me, so are the French, with their scrumptious egg-dipped toast and slivers of potato fried to golden perfection. Viva la France.
2 Comments:
Maybe it was a joke... I mean, it couldn't be serious... could it? I'm in Idaho and I haven't seen any of that shit, isn't your state supposed to be the liberal one?
I hate The Eagles... infact I even hate capitalizing their name... but I was afraid if I didn't you would think I meant I hate actual eagles, which I'm still 50/50 on, as opposed to the birds... but not the band The Birds... are you with me?
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