Viva Kidnapping!

MEXICO CITY, Mexico (AP) - Mexican's rejoice in the streets of their capital city today as they finally overtake Columbia and Brazil for the winner of the world's annual kidnapping contest. Mexico scored an impressive 194 obductions this year, although Columbia was close behind with 172, and Brazil with 169.

"Taco, burrito, enchilada," said Sanchez, which translates roughly to "Finally, we have won at last." Mexican police, known throughout the earth as the world's most trustworthy, reported they too were shocked by the unsuspected victory. "Viva Gorditas!" said officer Pepe, which in Mexican means "We are already hard at work to insure we win again next year."

Seriously though, that's a bit scary... I really want to do a little bit of traveling through Mexico someday, and it would be a shame if I had to get my head sliced off with someone's dirty box cutter. Surely it can't be as bad as that, but still, I don't exactly scream native when surrounded a bunch of "hombres."